My Sacred Life, Day 19
The wordiness of the last few days fades away into the contemplative quiet of remembrances of 9/11 and the holiness of the Jewish new year. May your life be sweet.

Where is your sweetness?

Optimize - ugh!

My Sacred Life, Day 18 - Just being enough in a pissy kind of way

So, I'm watching Penn & Teller's Showtime origional Bulls*#t. I don't always agree with them (and admittedly they are really off color) but they make some excellent points in favor of reason over fear.
Like today's recorded episode which is on collonics and detoxing. They make points like the average body in the US doesn't get parasites (what with our good plumbing, healthy tap water (YES!!) and clean produce) and that the body is designed to flush toxins - and it does, well and admirably.

I did 20 minutes on our new elliptical trainer today. My cousin recommended doing 2 minutes of aerobic and them two minutes...not aerobic (what word do I use here?) for the 20 minute workout. That would optimize the jumpstart on my metabolism. I'm lucky I got through just plain ol' moving for 20 minutes - aerobic optimization ain't happenin' today!

Optimize. I have a problem with that concept. Why do we have to be optimal? "Enough" works, dang it!

My animals should have food put down twice a day and taken back up. This is optimal since it most closely reflects life in the wild. Well, my animals don't agree and simply don't eat when I do this. (I get "the face" from the vet whenever I bring this up to the vet.) Should I agonize over the optimal eating pattern of my animals or is it enough that they eat?

Optimally, I should be eating a fairly strict diet to handle my hypoglycemia. I know this way of eating is healthiest for me. But its really hard! It means giving up a lot of stuff (coffee!)(chocolate!) I don't want to give up right now. Do I really have to be the healthiest I can be, or is healthy OK, too? And what the hell does that even mean, anyway -healthiest? (What about all that stress from not optimizing enough?)

Enough ranting. The question for today:

What step below optimal is still good enough for what you need? (Think really, really low and see what happens...)

True Nature

My Sacred Life, Day 17

We got a call from the vet yesterday saying that fifteen year old Tortellini (called Nini, since a two year old Miss M couldn't manage the whole thing) is suffering from kidney failure. Sad news, but don't try to tell him that. Just before I took these pictures I was petting him and playing tragic but he's having none of it; he looked at me as if to say "What?!?"

When I considered writing this blog I thought of other people who have used words like "precious" and "beloved" to describe their cats. Not gonna work. Nini may be precious to me and he is certainly beloved by all the family, but his true essence is the "grumpy old man" and nothing, not even impending death is going to change that.


This is where the old man has been camping out for the last few days, finding refuge it seems in my newly straightened office - or perhaps its the blanket that he loves.

Tortellini and his now departed sister Ravioli were the first pets The Hubby and I brought home all those years ago when we first moved in together. We (thought we) wanted a dog but we "settled" for what the landlady would allow - two cats. That act of the Universe has been one of our most loving twists of fate. Now, 3 homes later and a lifetime away, Nini is the last vestige of that life before. He is the last living thread that winds through our early years of living together.

He's had a good run and in true Monty Python-esque fashion The Hubby and I keep saying "He's not dead yet! ...I think I'll go for a walk now"(from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.) Still, his leaving will be sad. I have to avoid the temptation of making him something he isn't in his last months though. I have to let him be the grumpy old man that he is, until he isn't anymore.

(just for good measure, two questions to ponder today...)
Why do we sometimes try so hard to sugar-coat spirituality?

How do you hold your grief?

"The Hubby"

My Sacred Life, Day 16

This is "The Hubby" who, for reasons of privacy doesn't want his face shown on the blog. He feels very strongly about this so you all have a lovely view of the back of his head; how could I leave him out of My Sacred Life - he's such a huge part of it.

Once, while on retreat, the women in the circle asked what my husband was like. After considerable thought all I could think to say was "He's an a**hole...but in a good way." Oh no, they protested, you could never be married to someone like that. All I could think was, "Then you don't know me too well, do ya?"

When my beloved cousin objected to this description of him I asked "Well, how would you describe him?" She thought about it and all she could say of was "Mmmm, good point."

So, this established (and he will readily admit to being one) now for some details: he is funny as hell, smart with a really wide knowledge base that fills in the gaps of my own, and a fantastic provider for the kids and me. He loves to work (bordering on workaholic - something else he readily admits to) and defines a lot of who he is through the various jobs that he does. He's also my soulmate and I love him to death, even when he's driving me nuts. (This, BTW is my formula of a successful marriage - the balancing between those two dichotomies.)

While reading one of the blogs someone (so sorry I can't remember who) mentioned that she and her husband start their day together with a spiritual practice. I wondered what that would be like. Its simply not The Hubby's cup of tea. But he leaves room for it to be mine, while at the same time grounding me so that my new-agey tendencies don't take me too far out there. Unchecked, I could really be out there!

Who I want to be and what I want to offer the world isn't someone who is "out there." I want to be a living example of the balance between the two worlds - the spiritual world and what we affectionately refer to as the "real world." Its possible to do both, and The Hubby makes sure I stay grounded enough to live that desire.

My Sacred Life just wouldn't be the same without him. (Love you, babe...Happy 17th/12th Anniversary!)


Note the slightly more revealing picture to the left...

Who grounds you?

A Grateful Heart

I have been too busy living My Sacred Life to post about that very sacred life; my little one started kindergarten this morning and I'm taking time to rest in that very big concept as it sinks in (she said, wiping away a tear.) So, my offering today is this image, which I cut out of an old calendar years ago and posted in my bedroom in the old house so that it was the first thing that I saw every morning for a year. I stumbled across it and wanted to share this little bit of My Sacred Life. With a grateful heart for all of you holding the space for this project and our lives...

What makes your heart swell with gratitude?

Beach Day

My Sacred Life, Day 15ish (I think)


I am a consummate beach comber. Always have been. My grandparents encouraged this, in spite of how grossed out my grandmother was the year I found the rat skull on the beach. She let me keep it but it soaked in bleach for three days before she deemed it clean enough.


Now I rarely leave the beach without some treasure. Today, at the beach with the kids it was photos and a shell that just might work on my next set of Story-Beads. The kids have so much fun and even sick as The Hubby and I were we had a good time, too. Lunch, seagulls...who could ask for anything more?

Where do you find your treasures?

Seagulls in the sand, advancing quickly (though subtlety)

Regal Seagull

Seagull Energy:

Seagull: versatility, loud, lazy, easy going
Seagull: observation, swift action, opportunity,carefree attitude, versatility
Seagull: Carefree Attitude, Versatility, Freedom

(seems the Universe is trying to hint at versatility...)

Big "Mac" Attack

This is what I came home to this evening - a puppy on a trampoline. Before you go thinking I'm a mean dog mama I should mention he has eaten every bed I've given him so he sneaks onto the trampoline when he thinks I'm not looking.

Owning a dog has not been exactly what I imagined. When we brought this cutey home a year ago the adjustment period was raw and rough. I realized that although I always had dogs in the house when I was growing up, I never had a dog - my mom had the dog. Now I often feel resentful of the attention that he wants and the way he follows me around the house c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y.

But when he isn't home, like the day we came back from vacation and he was still at the kennel, the energy of the house just isn't right. The adjustment time has been ever so much longer than I foresaw but his energy has integrated into that of the family's and he's one of us now. So, I come home to a dog on a trampoline and I can laugh, and snap a picture, and finally feel grateful for his presence in our life.

What adjustment period did you underestimate? When did it finally feel fulfilling?