One of my favorite ways to pass idle time is to look through my past and trace the steps that got me where I am (physically, emotionally and spiritually) today. A sort of spiritual connect the dots, if you will. I am lucky; I have grown enough that I can recognize that even the most difficult things in life have been blessings. The teenage depression that I suffered, the postpartum difficulties, the insecurities were all a necessary part of the journey.
Recognizing them as necessary allowed me to put the past into context and, in the simplest terms, "grow up." And so, at 29, I got my first tattoo. It was my coming of age ceremony, admittedly a little later than most, but still of utmost importance to who I am today. By ritualizing it I made a conscious decision to leave behind the limitations of my youth and step forward with my strengths to an adulthood of my choosing. The tattoo, hidden to most on the small of my back, is a constant and physical reminder that I made that choice; that I am living it.
When did you come of age? Was it a conscious decision or was it thrust upon you by life? Was it an event that needs reframing or does the memory of it bring you strength?With gratitude to all who have come along on this "Sacred Life" journey; it has been my privilege being with you all and sharing these glimpses of each and every one of our sacred lives.
4 comments:
Provocative question, Deb. I think I probably came of age when I changed my name at age 33. I changed my first and middle name but kept my last name, because it was my married name. I put my past behind me, and declared to the Universe that I was through being a victim.
Every time I heard my birth name called I remembered my mother and the physical beatings and verbal abuse. Thus I had a whole new name and identity---"Olivia"---which means "peace".
Great post Deb. I think I came of age this year on my recent birthday...Yep...age 45...Perhaps I don't really know what coming of age means? Just felt like something huge inside me shifted when I turned 45...a true feeling of claiming my power and stepping into the real me...I thought I had already done that...and I know it is an ongoing journey and every step I've taken before has led me to where I am now...Your post is making me think that I too could do something "signficiant"...like get a tattoo? to celebrate this stage in my life that feels so great and free...
Intriguing question. I think I came of age at 44 when my husband of 21 years (childhood sweetheart and best friend for 33) unexpectedly announced (a couple of weeks after my mom died suddenly) that he didn't want to be married any more and left me for a woman more than 20 years younger. What he actually said was more hurtful, but unnecessary to recount here. I found myself ALONE (except for my 2 year old puppy) for the first time in my life ... wondering what had happened since I'd "done everything right" (being the "good girl always"). Facing the challenges that followed taught me how resilient I am and what wonderful friends I have ... to recognize miracles everywhere in everything and to rediscover and embrace my true self (just as I am). Eighteen years after the fact I believe it was all "perfect" ... exactly what was needed to live my life genuinely and purposefully.
I got lost in my "story" and forgot to mention that I have no tatoos yet, but have experimented with various henna and airbrushed "butterflies" just above my ankle bone for the past few years and fully intend to get a REAL tatoo there sometime soon ... maybe for my next birthday?
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