Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Clarity and Softness


I got glasses on Saturday. Its a big adjustment for me. My world is literally framed in a new context. Its like watching life in Hi Def - I'm not a big fan of HD, but neither am I a big fan of squinting all the time, so glasses it is!


I went on my monthly retreat to Caumsett today. The world moves in a weird kind of way in these new glasses and it was really distracting so I chose to take them off. The landscape was suddenly softer around the edges.


There are times that I need clarity and times that I need softness, and I don't just mean with my eyesight. Life gets confusing and I strive to find clarity about my next best move. Or life gets stressful and I search for a sense of softness.


Sometimes I think I search as hard as I do for clarity because I'm afraid to let go and just let things unfold. I want to feel like I'm in control. I'm scared that without clarity things won't "go right" - and that search for clarity clouds the fact that whatever is happening and whatever i'm feeling is exactly what needs to be.


Surrendering to softness is tough. Allowing. Surrendering. Trusting. These are much harder concepts to live. I need to remember that they are just as, if not more important than clarity and control.


I am hoping that practicing discernment between clarity and softness will be an ongoing lesson with these new glasses. Perhaps its that discernment, even more than the glasses themselves, that will change the way I see the world.


Sometimes we need clarity and sometimes we need softness. Which do you really need in this moment?

4 comments:

Olivia said...

As someone who has worn glasses since age 6, and is now trying to acclimate to having three pairs with advancing age (reading, regular, driving), this is an issue I'm familiar with.

Today I need softness and comfort :)

You will adapt, Deb. Wishing you the best as you do! Good thoughts and beautiful sights and happy retreating, O xxoo

Anonymous said...

My dear Deb,a smile would do wonders for your expression.
Ever think that by wearing glassess you may see things in such clarity that it may just amaze you?
Perhaps the softness you felt is the softness in the clouds.
I think with your gift to find the beauty in everything.You will adjust to the "frame" of your glasses..just like having to think outside the box.Look and think outside the frame. I say you celebrate this new chapter of your life.Embrace it.
With all this said.I need softness in all areas.

couragetocreatewriteandlove said...

Clarity!
And don't worried you will get there and remember is for your own good.
Lovely blog and reflecting questions after your life post.
p.s. regarding your previous post, a bath would be a blessing for me right now. I am a mermaid, water is my element;-)

Deborah said...

I've been chided by loved ones for not smiling in the photo - once upon a time, long ago in HS I was chided by my councilor to smile more. Thank you for the reminder, dear hearts.

PS In the name of full disclosure, I can't smil ALL the time. I think its a pretty nice picture for all my glumness in it...