I am watching (and reading) with interest as Olivia takes part in Do one thing every day that scares you. I have no interest in doing it myself, mind you. I am curious about one thing, and it's something that troubles me on and off these days: how do you get over the idea that things that are hard for you are a cakewalk for others?
I'm pretty sure its my vanity (and my perfectionism) talking but sometimes it's really hard to stomach the fact that having to make a phone call to someone I don't know well can trip me up for days. I know other people don't have that problem - easy-peasy lemon squeezey for them, so why should it be so hard for me? And that's just one example; there are many more that pop up on any given day.
My post on driving through Italy is another example; my difficulties with that were lost on quite a few people, which made me feel sad, a little embarrassed and sort of like an ingrate. That was hard for me though. Two years ago I NEVER could have gotten through that, much less gotten through it without crying. I really have grown in the last few years!
I just wonder who else has these issues with judgmentalism and what are the tricks to getting over them. I don't need a blog challenge right now. No, for now I think I'll just keep on with living my life which tends to be scary enough on most days, thank you very much!
In what ways do you accept your quirks without overly judging yourself?
4 comments:
I just keep reminding myself that EVERYONE has something that scares them and it's different with different people...some people have lots of confidence 'out in the world' but have more fear with their inner emotions, whereas I am much more confident expressing my feelings but have less confidence with stuff that requires that I step out there and be visible.
I too have a difficult time making phone calls to people I don't know well and I've talked with many people who have said the same thing, so we're not alone there!
Thanks for sharing your adventures in bravery with us...it takes courage to talk about our fear publicly.
I think that what helped me was knowing ahead of time the supportiveness of this community, and the lack of judgmentalism, which helped me to not judge myself so much for my flaws and weaknesses. It did concern me at first that "regular" people in the local and family world would judge me, but I lost that fear somewhat early on as well. I think too, that I had all these fears at first, but wanted to do this SO MUCH that I just jumped in and hoped that some way or another it would work out, and it did. Those fears just melted away or went somewhere else. I feel a lot of safety out there from others, no matter who they are, and even if they do judge me because I don't care as much anymore.
I still am afraid of many things, like writing my post yesterday about DP. I knew it was too long, too boring, too convoluted, but I still needed to write it and share with everyone because it was such a major victory for me. So I thought I might lose some readers, or some people might think I was codependent or immature, or taking on stuff that wasn't mine, but I still went ahead.
I think that this is the biggest gift from BE BRAVE---that the fearful things may or may not still cause fear, but that the fear is totally irrelevant to whether or not those fearful things become obstacles to me---I decide that. It is a very empowering feeling.
BTW, I have a difficult time making phone calls to people I don't know well, Deb, too---I sometimes even write a script; e.g., when I called the president of a company (in other words, someone with more social status than I have). You'd be surprised how many people feel this way. Especially introverts and people who blog...
Blessings and love, O
I’m really been working on not being judgmental on myself. I can be so hard on me. And I think it is a lot easier to be kinder to me now that I am very conscious on not being judgmental of others as well. And that’s a good thing. Right now, being sick, it’s so much easier. I am just too tired and ill to be hard on myself and I am finding that I am a lot more peaceful and serene right now. Weird, I know!
Don’t be hard on yourself about the things that you consider silly. We all have things that are so much harder for us than for others. The important thing is not to compare yourself with those around you. You are Unique. You are You. And the world is a better place for you in it!! So, accept those things about you. And acceptance will lead you to feeling much more peaceful and serene about them!!
Deb--In one way, you are right: every single thing that is hard for you is very easy...for SOMEONE! But not for everyone.
We're all entitled to a little respect for and nurturing of our qualms, regardless how few others share them.
Good example: I really am not crazy about the idea of ordering take-out or food to be delivered. I'm crazy about *eating* it, but if I can convince someone else to handle the ordering, I'm happier. Julia does that for us when we decide to call for our food to show up like magic. My job is to answer the door and pay for the food. Fair enough.
That's not to say I go hungry if I am traveling on business! When the choice is do the thing I don't like to do or go hungry, I am suddenly empowered.
Truth be told, we're all a little nuts. Fortunately, all in slightly different ways--it's more interesting that way! The one person on the planet hardest on you...is you. If you are willing to cut yourself a break, you will find that things lighten up amazingly quickly.
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